Becoming a Dad
January 14th 2022
We are laying in bed about to go to sleep when Jeni gets up to go to the bathroom, she comes back in and says “I think my waters just broke” Woah we on!
Without knowing exactly what we should do, we called the hospital to double check everything was ok and to develop a plan, they asked us to come in once we had all our gear organized.
We packed the birth bags, drinks and snacks and headed off to John Hunter Hospital. Turns out they just wanted to check all the vitals for the baby and mumma. Everything was looking great, we were sent home until Jeni was in active labour. We were told to call back at 12pm to book time for Jeni to be induced if she didn’t go into labour before then. After 24 hrs of the water breaking the risk of infection increases as the time passes beyond 24-48hr.
After coming home from the hospital around 1am we were both super tired and by this stage Jeni’s contractions had started, not enough that she was in active labour more of the pre labour phase, so contractions for a 30-60 sec period around 4-8 min apart.
This prevented us from getting much sleep (more so Jeni, Can’t imagine what contraction feel like). So we woke up super tired. During the day we moved around the house like normal, until the pain got too much for Jeni and she layed in the spare bed bracing and breathing through every contraction as they grew in intensity.
January 15th 2022 - Logan’s Birthday
We timed the contractions and noticed around 12pm they were getting consistent at 3 mins apart and had been for about an hour, called the hospital to confirm we were good to come in and they asked to see as soon as we could get there.
John Hunter Hospital
We arrived at the hospital and I was so lucky to have the chance to go in with Jeni and both tested negative for Covid, testing positive would have meant restrictions on my stay and also wearing full PPE, so i'm glad we both were clear. Phewwww
We arrived in the room and got everything set up the way we wanted, lights off, blinds down, music on. This was to make it as comfortable as possible for Jeni as we could. To make it feel like our own space, like home.
She ate some snakes (shout out Allens) while contractions were still mild and that's the last thing she ate that day, what a weapon.
She started off on the bed hunching over when the contractions would come, it was fascinating to see how in tune she was with her body, knowing when to stand up finding the most comfortable position possible to get through the next contraction.
At about 4pm we decided to run the bath to see if this would make Jeni feel more comfortable, by this stage the contractions were very frequent and starting to rise in intensity. The midwife asked jeni if she would be keen for some gas (Nitrogen and Oxygen) to help with the pain of each contraction, she was told to take some deep breaths of it leading into a contraction on the down phase so that when she reached the peak of the pain she would have some sort of relief from the gas.
Bath Time:
“It’s too hot” I ran some cold as she stepped into the bath, keeping the cold running for some time to get the temp just right for her. Jeni wasn't vibing the foam knee pads as they were trying to float so we removed them and she was just kneeling in the bath and changing from this position to seated. After about 20 mins and a few contractions I jumped in the bath with her to be close and provide some extra support and comfort.
After about 1 hr in the bath the midwife said if you haven't progressed by 7pm we can check your progress or dilation, jeni agreed and wanted to try the shower as being in the bath became too uncomfortable.
The shower was hectic!
So noisy with the running water, Jeni screaming and midwives talking.
That was my experience, but Jeni seemed to be in the zone while in there. Jeni was lent over a chair grasping the top of the chair with every contraction that was building in intensity by this stage. I was multitasking, keeping the water positioned on her lower back with a hand held shower head. I brought it up at one stage to get her upper back (bad option) Jeni said “What are you doing? my Lower back” yep got it straight back to the lower hehehe. I was also holding the gas nozzle and also trying to keep her fluids up between contractions. What a time
Jeni seemed to really be comfortable in the shower, she seemed focused and really present to what she needed to do in each moment while the pain was on and surging and also the space in between to rest and recover her energy ready for the next round. Like a boxer hydrating in the corner ready for the next round of the fight, if this was a boxing match it would have gone for 100+ rounds so I am so blown away by Jenis strength and determination to keep on going even though parts of her wanted to give up.
After around 45 mins in the shower Jeni was ready to get dry and transition to the bed, where she stayed for the remainder of the birth.
Progress
Kneeing down with her hands on the pillows at the head of the inclined bed. Jeni was doing so well and I am so proud of how strong she was at this stage. After hours of contractions and not knowing what to expect next, required full trust and surrender.
The midwife asked Jeni if she would like to check the progress? Jeni agreed as the pain was getting too much so she wanted to know if she was progressing. I can't imagine putting in hours and so much energy to still feel like you hadn't progressed, with no way of telling if you were getting closer to meeting your baby or staying int he same place.
Parts of Jeni were asking if I am doing it right? What else can I do?
The midwife checked and said she was fully dilated, this was a huge relief to jeni, now she knows she is getting closer and closer to giving birth to her first little baby boy.
Yesssss Go Jeni!
Throughout these last stages of labour Jeni and I were at the head of the bed, foreheads pressed together grasping each other's hands, a strong hold to show Jeni she has the strength within herself and also has all of my strength and energy with her in every moment.
These last moments felt like Jeni was hanging on the edge of a cliff, like a scene in a movie.
The hero holding on for dear life but also holding with one hand some parts of her that had been with her forever.
They are terrified, screaming and wanting to be saved
But it’s time to let go.
It’s up to them to sacrifice themselves so jeni could survive and move onto the next part in her story.
They let go of Jeni’s hand to save her, accepting and at peace with their decision to let go.
This felt like a Portal moment for Jeni, old parts letting go fully.
While Jeni stepped into a new realm as a mother, a provider, Goddess creating life, this was the moment her soul accepted she was a mother.
Baby’s Face - What ! this was insane
As I held Jeni’s hand I swivelled around the back to see what was happening, a head!
No it’s a face
The cute little smushed face of my son.
This was so crazy seeing the face of my boy stuck in my wife’s vagina, not something I will easily forget.
I move back around to jeni and say OMG I can’t see his face, not his head! his cute little face, keep going you are so close babe.
After one more push the head was fully out, a brief moment of rest for jeni and with one more push he came out caught buy the midwife and immediately passed between jeni’s legs into her arms
The instant relief and joy on her face was something I will never forget. I am so proud of her and everything she has sacrificed and been through to bring new life into this world.
We have a boy, the cutest little fella we could have dreamed of, Still pinching myself everyday.
I am so grateful for Jeni with the past 9 months growing our boy and recent hours of labour, what a Goddess.
I am blown away by what the feminine are capable of, strong, resilient, powerful, calm, chaotic, creative, gentle, loving, fierce, connected.
Shoutout to Jeni our new Mumma, my mum (Judy), her mum (Granma Jean) and all the mothers out there, you are frickin hero’s and I love you all so much. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
